Dominic’s goodbye January 30, 2010

My son Dominic who turned 14 years old on May 27th 2009 left the earthly body that no longer served him on January 5th 2010 to go somewhere more joyful, beautiful and connected than I know how to imagine.

It is with great grief and sadness that I watched him pass out of his little leukemia riddled body that day at 3:23 pm. When I realized that his heart was no longer beating, I climbed on his bed and hugged him and cried and wailed “My baby, my baby” but that did not bring him back.

His passing was a beautiful thing to behold and I am so honored that I was a part of it. I had been sitting vigil at his bedside at the Mark West Children’s Home where they take care of children who are terminal. As the hours and days passed he would talk more about the other world he was in than the physical world the rest of us were in. He would sit up and play video games without the remote. He would take his brand new I-phone that he was so proud of and make twisting motions and do all kinds of magical little manuevers with it that had nothing to do with making a phone call. I’m not sure what he was seeing or doing, but he seemed to be into it, and he often would talk about the bunnies he was seeing.

On Monday he looked at me and made a weird face and said that my face was melting purple. Monday night (actually Tuesday morning) around 2 am, as I slept a few feet away, I “felt” him sit up. That night I had forgotten to put the railing up, and he was sitting up and trying to get out of bed. I walked to him as he stood up in his now bloated, heavy body and he put his arms around me for support and we held each other. I hadn’t been able to hug him in so long since he had been in pain and it wasn’t comfortable for anyone to be in bed with him or touch him too much. We stood there hugging for what seemed a blissful eternity to me. I was nuzzling my nose into his neck and smelling him. He smelled sweet, like a newborn baby. I think a part of me knew this was my goodbye. I wanted to enjoy every little sensation in that I was experiencing. We stood there holding each other for a while, then he wanted to sit in the chair that was next to his bed. He looked at me in the dark, and in his most lucid moment that I had seen in days, he said “I trust you Mom”. Earlier that day, I had told him that it was safe for him to leave his body and that I was going to be okay without him and that it was okay with me if he wanted to go. I think he may have been referring to that. Or maybe he was telling me he trusted me to let him go and to live the life I was meant to live. I think I will know more later, or maybe it doesn’t really matter what it meant, he just wanted me to know that he always had trusted me and that I did right by him. Then I put him back in bed and he went back to sleep for an hour.

At 3am he got up again, but this time on the side of the bed my sister and niece were on. Again I went to him, and my sister and niece got up too. It took the strength of the three of us to corral him in our arms as he was determined to walk out his room door. He said, “Where is my backpack? I need my backpack. I’m going on a trip.” Then we said we had the backpack for him. He then asked me, “How do I know what is real?” And I asked him if he could feel my arms around him. He said “Yes” and I said that was real and he said, “Oh,this is real.” That made him feel peaceful and he was ready to lay back down again. He never woke up after that. I waited all day just to have one more interaction with him. To have one more opportunity to hear his voice and to watch him play his imaginary video games and talk about bunnies.

A little bit before Dominic died, I asked his dad to step outside to talk. I was still worried I wasn’t doing enough. Was just waiting for him to die what I was supposed to be doing? Was that the best use of my time? We spoke for a while and it was a very sweet and healing talk between the two of us. I don’t remember what we said exactly, and I do know it was what needed to happen for Dominic to pass. As we were out of the room, Dominic could separate himself from me, and have the space to do what he was ready to do. As I walked back into the room, at that very moment, he was sitting up taking his last breath. And then he was gone.

I spent another night with his body. The nurses helped me bathe him with a tea bath, and I dressed his body in some of his brand new Christmas clothes. I put his favorite hat on him and tucked his stuffed kitty next to him. He was so beautiful still to me. It was a gift to be there with his body for another 28 hours so that I could have the time to let go. My family was all around me, and I sat mostly right next to his bed and played beautiful devotional music by Snatam Kaur. It was the most wonderful and gentle way I can imagine to say goodbye, and I wish that everyone who loses a child or anyone close to them could have a similar experience.

Finally they came to take him away the next day around 7 pm. They put him in the truck and drove away. He was to be cremated. I slept at home that night with my niece Madeline beside me.

It has been a little over 3 weeks now and I have had a large spectrum of emotions from joy and relief that he no longer suffers in that body to a sadness I’ve never felt before that seems to be registering in every cell in my body. It’s like every cell is feeling the sadness, not just my mind. I never know when it will hit or what will trigger a crying spell. It could be a movie that shows a mother and son connection or just someone saying telling me something about Dominic that they remember. Pictures are full of emotions too. I think most of my sadness comes from the longing to be with him in his physical form, and the knowing I will never get to see him have a girlfriend, graduate high school, have children and all those rights of passage in life that I as a mother took for granted , thinking I would get to see him do all or most of those one day.

Since he was my only child, I don’t know if it’s harder than it is for others who have more. Perhaps. I do know that I am grateful I had the gift of being a mother to this incredible soul and that he continues to teach me every day. Sometimes I feel his arms around me hugging me and I feel comfort. Last night it felt as if someone sat on my bed and I know it was him. He is all around me, and I am trying to get used to communicating with him in a new way now.

Right now it hurts. My heart feels broken open. I know that breaking open is different than just breaking, and right now, I don’t know how it is different. I’m sure that time will show me. I do know that life is still good for me and that I am experiencing much joy, laughter and love thanks to my many wonderful friends and family members who remind me every day how much I am loved.

My kitty Oscar is here too. We got him for Dominic when he was diagnosed with leukemia in January of 2009. Oscar keeps me company and gives me lots of love that I am needing. I know he is here to comfort me. It’s funny that Dominic insisted we get Oscar not realizing he was ultimately going to be here for my comfort less than his own.

There are photos of Dominic all around my house, and little items that remind me of him on an altar by my front door. I get many loving cards and gifts in the mail that give me comfort. I do know that this will get easier. Today is a hard day because I am by myself (which I am a lot by choice). I think that having others around is nice, but it really just distracts me from my journey of healing and being in the presence of the loss I feel.

I know many other women have lost their children and that I am not unique in this experience, and maybe that makes it easier, I don’t know.

The rain is pounding on my window as I type this and that makes things seem a little more bleak at the moment and a little less hopeful. I’ve gone through a good bit of tissues since I sat down to write this too. I know that I can embrace the rain and the sun and know that one will always follow the other. Words can comfort and words can teach, but only experience makes us become who we are becoming.

This year I am looking forward to all of the wonderful places I will travel to like Mt. Shasta, Calgary, Washington, Arizona, France, Italy, Austrailia, Hawaii and more I’m sure. I know that in some ways Dominic’s leaving has opened some new doors for me to be more out in the world. I choose to continue his message of kindness and compassion and I am going to enjoy the journey.

As we move forward in life, let us remember that there is no room for judgement, blame, shame or guilt, and that a kind word or smile can make all the difference in a person’s day or even life. Unless we have walked in another’s life experience, we cannot know why they make the choices they do, and that all choices are good choices, simply because they are what is being chosen in that moment.

Goodbye Dominic, see you “around the way”.

The “I love you” song sent to me from Dominic after he “left” click here

Living in the moment December 26, 2009

Today is Christmas Day, 2009. Dominic and I

Dominic 1 year ago

spent it in the UCSF Hospital in San Francisco. It is not what either of us had planned, but it seems that at this moment, this is where we are.

It’s been a very rough week for both of us. We returned home from Florida one week ago after having visited Hippocrates Health Institute.  Dominic got a very serious infection somehow and we have been residents in either a Florida or California Hospital for the last 2 weeks. He has been in extreme pain, been suffering with fevers and intestinal pain, and now is on a dry fast because there is a possibility his colon could rupture…which would be other than good. Needless to say, Dominic is suffering. And through all the suffering, he continues to keep a good attitude and keeps thinking of going home and having his life with family and friends. I am in awe of his strength and perseverance. He is a true superhero, whose power is inner strength and a positive outlook.

I have a few alternative therapies I’d like to try with him. We have talked to Dr. Young in San Diego about his program of sodium bi-carb and alkalizing the body which sounds very promising. And since Dominic is way too sick to leave the hospital or travel now, we are going to see a Dr. Rowen in Santa Rosa on Monday as a closer alternative who has also had great successes with cancer using IV therapies such as ozone and vitamin C. Dr. Rowen comes recommended to us by Dr. Lodi who runs An Oasis of Healing in Mesa, Arizona, whom I have been speaking with about Dominic.

You know, it’s funny, because no matter how many plans and schemes I have come up with, they seem to keep getting thwarted in some way or another. The harder I fight and rebel against what is happening (i.e. medical treatment) the more sick Dominic seems to get and the more hopeless it seems to even have him well enough to leave the hospital to try these things. I was so determined to get him out of here 2 days before Christmas and was so close to having him out the door, when his oncologist got really aggressive with me about the possibility of him dying over the weekend of septic shock before we could even see anyone alternative to help us.

In the end, although I am getting so many great ideas and advice from so many wonderful and caring people, they are not here to help me, and it’s just me and I choose to do what is going to make Dominic feel comfortable in the moment, not run out of here with a scheme while not having the tools or the help to pull it off alone. It’s really, really scary!!!! I truly would never wish these kinds of decisions on anyone.

So as I look deep into my heart and continue to send up prayers for guidance, the answer that I keep getting is “Everything is happening just as it should. There is no one way and there is no right or wrong, black or white. What you are doing in this moment is loving your boy with all of your heart and soul. Your intentions are set and you know that you are being divinely guided. So stop the struggle and just keep holding this vision of Dominic healing in your mind and in your heart and you will be lead, and all will be well. All is well now. In this moment, all is well, and now is all you have, so be here and love here and stop thinking you are doing it wrong and just let go of the struggle. You are loved, Dominic is loved and all is well.”

So my friends, I wish you all peace in your hearts on this holy day.  I wish you love, and I wish for you to know that you are Blessed. Just as I am blessed, and Dominic is blessed. None of us know what the future holds, or how long we are going to stay in these earthly bodies, so count your Blessings, and make the most of this life!!!!! Just make the most of this life!

Arc Angel Rafael

Surrender! December 15, 2009

This post is all about surrender.

Today is December 13, 2009. We are on our 15th day at Hippocrates Health Institute.

Today I am realizing that everything needs to happen in its own time. A body cannot be forced to do something it’s not ready to do, even deep cleansing. It has it’s own intelligence which must be honored. I also realize that my body responds differently than Dominic’s body to everything! I will now apply that bit of wisdom to my future encounters. We are all so unique and different and what works for one may not work for all.

I had way too much ego when I came here. I see that now. I came here thinking I was going to save the day (along with Brian Clement). I have been so humbled by this experience. As the 2 weeks have progressed, I’ve seen Dominic get weaker and sicker. He can’t keep the green juice down, nor really anything for that matter except for his morning and evening wheatgrass shots. Last night and this morning though, not even those are passing his pale little lips. He sleeps most of the day. He takes morphine, sometimes 2 times a day for the pain in his leg and hip where the leukemia seems to be growing. I’ve talked to so many wise and loving people like Brian and Anna Marie Clement, Viktorus Kulvinskas, Dr. Thomas Lodi, and the list goes on and on. There are many things we can try, and many things we are actually doing at the moment. And there are more things we will surely do.

There have been so many beautiful people who have sent me gifts of superfoods such as Barley Max (thank you Raw Truck Driver Dave and friends), and Blue green algae, a BEMER, and more, more, more! Thank you everyone. It is the love, compassion and thoughtfulness which is doing the most healing of all. The financial donations have continued to pour in, and I am so very grateful to all of you who have rushed to our aid to help in Dominic’s healing. A BEMER was overnight FED EX’d to us on Saturday which is a bio-energetic mat that will help boost Dominc’s immune system and balance his energy, and, according to the literature, a lot more. All the love, prayers and well wishes are uplifting my spirits on a daily basis. For this energy healing I am eternally grateful!!!

Dominic’s Dad and Step Mom are here visiting this weekend for the second time since our stay here. It is wonderful to have them here. Without their physical and emotional support I don’t know how I would be getting through all of this. Dominic loves his dad so much and always perks up when he is around so it is a healing just to have him here.

Tuesday December 15th

So here we are 17 days after arriving, when I thought Dominic would be getting  a lot better. I had this idea that he would come here and start eating all the food, drinking the juices, doing the therapies, and poof!, transform into his old, healthy self. This has not happened yet. In fact, because he is still so weak, we feel it is best to come back home now so he can be closer to friends and loved ones in his own surroundings. So, today we are flying home.

I choose to surrender with my entire being. Surrender to the fact that I don’t know the grand design. Surrender to the best possible outcome for all involved.  Surrender to Dominic’s internal intelligence and his soul’s knowing. Surrender to letting go of thinking I know how things should go. In essence, I surrender to the Highest Power.

We have been up, we have been down, we feel wrung out like wet dish towels and hung to dry. But our spirits are still high and we are still hopeful that a miracle could happen at any moment.  Dominic is in good spirits today and told me this morning that he knows he’s going to get better. As always, we are hopeful. The trip home is tonight at 7:30. His step mom booked us the first row on Jet Blue, and I pray that we can get home with Dominic being as comfortable as possible and that it is an effortless and easy flight. We need to use a wheelchair as Dominic is too weak to walk anywhere or even stand for that matter.

Again, thank you all so much for your love and prayers. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life! There has been a worldwide circulation of Dominic’s story, and I’ve been contacted by people in Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica and the world over. The love is circling the globe. Cherie Soria and Dan Ladderman of Living Light Culinary Arts Institute have been instrumental in raising funds for us. I am exceptionally grateful for their help and continued support. This is a true story of love, hope and compassion in the highest form.

I love you all!!!!!

Day 7 at Hippocrates Health Institute December 5, 2009

Dear Friends,

The love and support we have been getting from all of you is overwhelming (in an excellent way)!!!!

All of your contributions of love, prayers and financial support are so touching I have cried more than once. I want all of you to know how beautiful you are and how much your love and generosity have touched my heart forever. I will always remember this time as a time that my community rose up in love. I feel so moved by the abounding positive energy coming my way and feel that everything is going exactly as it should have. No regret, no blame, no looking back.

As for Dominic, it is day 7 here at Hippocrates. He has been through his ups and downs and some days feels good and others awful. Today is one of the awful days as he can’t eat for fear of vomiting and his energy is very low. He was able to eat yesterday though and I was thrilled.

The Hippocrates staff has been so amazing and supportive. We met with both Brian and AnnaMarie Clement, and they are giving us so much love, guidance and support. They feel he needs to do a lot of work by drinking the green juice and wheatgrass, doing the wheatgrass implants 2x a day and taking other therapies such as oxygen and deep infrared sauna as well as vitamin/mineral injections, chelation and something called carnivora which eats the proteins around the cancer cells opening them up to be destroyed by the oxygen. I’m not giving this technical justice, but it all sounds really powerful to me. Dominic is doing all of it and drinking as much as he can although it is hard to keep it down most days.

We are on a diet of green sprouts, greens, sprouted beans and some extras like nuts and avocados in low amounts. No salt or sugar whatsoever or fruit or anything with a glycemic index that would anyway feed the leukemia. I am eating the same diet as him. Today we were both craving sweets and carbs. That’s what happens after a week with nothing sweet.

The second week promises to be easier. Dom has now adapted to the food somewhat and is getting braver about asking the chef for special things like spring rolls. We have juice 3 times a day, wheatgrass 2 times a day and do wheatgrass implants (rectal) 2 times per day. There are 2 meals a day, lunch and dinner and breakfast is juice. Dom is getting some cooked milet in the morning right now just to keep his strength up and to ease him into the program. The folks here gave him his own little cart to wheel around in since he gets tired so easily and it’s really cute. It’s red, and he thinks it makes him look silly but I’m so grateful he has it.

Dominic’s dad and stepmom are here visiting this weekend and Dom is very happy about that. They went to a movie yesterday and played miniature golf today. Just things to keep him occupied and his mind off of everything else.

Mealtimes are a big deal around here as it seems we are always hungry and excited about the next one. Can’t wait to see what they are serving tonight.

We are going to Hippocrates Health Institue in Florida November 27, 2009

On Monday November 23rd, Dominic was admitted to the hospital again for a fever. He had been experiencing excruciating back pain since Friday and it built up over the weekend.

As I write this it is Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and I am here in the hospital with Dominic at his bedside while he sleeps, then wakes up feeling sick, gets drugged then goes back to sleep. This past week has been brutal beyond belief. The Drs were all very solemn when the brought his father and me into a room earlier this week to talk to us about Dominic and what they believe his future to be. The kind Dr. who was telling us that the leukemia has spread and there is nothing that they can do was crying as she told us. They have fought the good fight with chemo, radiation and bone marrow transplant, everything they believe to be good and right,  and in the end, none of it worked. In fact, now, the leukemia is more aggressive than ever. The Dr. gave us each a DNR to carry with us which means that if he were to stop breathing, to just let him go. We were also told he could start getting heavy nose bleeds and there is a possibility he will be in agony as the leukemia grows in his inflexible bone marrow.  His dad and I were in total shock and horror as she told us this. They told us they give him a week to a month to live at the rate the cancer is progressing.

This is where the story gets good and the hope shines through. After a year of crying and pleading for him to go to Hippocrates Health Institute in Florida where they are famous for helping people to heal from cancer and where people go when they have no other choice, my dream is finally coming true. Dominic and his dad have agreed that it is the best choice and the best option at this point and they have put their faith and trust in this process (what else can they do at this point?). The Drs. are even happy to see us try this (now that they have no choice) and are supporting me fully in taking him on an airplane on Saturday night, pain killers, DNR sheet and antibiotics in hand.

I have been told by higher power that it’s going to be one of those miracle stories, where instead of the boy getting the girl, he gets the rest of his life…healthy, happy, cancer free and no drugs (the girl comes later)! It is my life purpose to help people be as healthy, feel full of life force and joy that they can be, and I have helped soooo many people through my teachings, recipes, personal example and website. My family, however, from my son, to my ex to my parents, have never wanted to embrace raw foods, and in fact shun it at all costs. I got over it a long time ago and didn’t give it much thought anymore. But when Dom got cancer in Jan of 2009, my world turned upside down. I wanted so badly to help him with raw foods, but he and his dad just wouldn’t bite (literally and figuratively). So even though I begged, cried and pleaded, they opted for the traditional medical route. And after my initial rage filled resistance kept under wraps to protect my son,  spirit told me to surrender and go along with what they had chosen, so I did and embrace it I did, with every fiber of my being hoping with all my heart that it would work. End of story…or so I thought.

Dominic went through the BMT (bone marrow transplant) this past summer, and even though it was brutal watching him suffer with vomiting, headaches, body pain, mouth sores and discomfort, we got through it, and he was home after that and doing quite well. The BMT seemed to have taken and he was a model patient in every way. We were all happy as he progressed towards 2010 and plans were to remove his broviak (a chest tube that hangs from his torso), go back to school and be the teenager he longed to be. Then, seemingly out of the blue (blood tests showed nothing until the last-minute), Bam!, it was back full on.

So now, at this very critical time in his life where every day matters more than ever, I am doing my best to get his body to trust itself again. He is no longer eating anything that feeds cancer, which is sugar, fruit,bread, dairy, pastries, salt, caffeine, meat, etc, etc, which, by the way, is what comes up 3x a day on those cafeteria trays they send up to his room (AKA cancer to go).  What he is consuming is liquid blue green algae, wheat grass (starting today), green juice (no fruit), cucumbers, avocado, lettuce, red bell peppers and only raw, vegan foods that don’t have sugar. He doesn’t much care for it, but that’s okay, I know it is what is going to save him.  Little did I know that the IV drip was also sugar and once I told our Dr. that I was taking him off all sugar, she said that he had a sugar drip and that she would stop that as well if I wished, which I did. Once we get him to Hippocrates on Sunday November 29th, he will begin a regimen that Dr. Brian Clement prescribes, and I will keep you updated. So here we go….into the world of green… for a 14 year old boy who has everything to live for!

Mission accomplished…and then some November 27, 2009

Yes, I did finish the marathon on October 18th, and now it feels like a million miles away, although I seriously doubt I have run even close to that many since the marathon. It was a great event. I finished in 5 hours and 9 minutes. I was lucky to be running with Team in Training for my first event as I had so much support, love and friendship from everyone around me. My sister Jennifer, niece Madeline, and son Dom were there to cheer me on. As I ran the first 14 miles, I was pumped, so full of excitement and energy.  The bathroom lines were hideously long and I attempted to wait for a bit but then finally gave up. If I had only known that after the first 13 miles all the 1/2 ers go a different route and the porta potties are all freed up for the last 13 miles I would have strategized better.  At mile 16 my family was waiting to cheer me on and my super fit, super hot 22-year-old niece jumped in to run with me for the next 10 miles. For anyone thinking of running a marathon, I highly recommend this wonderful addition. She kept me company, bounced along beside me very energetically and we talked and listened to her iPod together. It wasn’t exactly easy, but those last 10 miles did fly by unexpectedly. We were tooling along the last couple miles blasting Michael Jackson with each of us having 1 earpiece in and running very close together. Suddenly I looked up and I was nearly finished! Maddie ran back to her mom and Dom and I ran through the finish. I got my Tiffany’s necklace and the exhilarating feeling of knowing I had accomplished something few have. It was fairly uneventful after that as all of my friends hadn’t finished and I was ready to get home and take a nap. Overall I would say that because I was so prepared through all of my training, that it was  an easy marathon and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I have been bitten by the running bug and am in love with the high I get from it.

In fact…one week later, I snuck out (because I knew everyone would think I was crazy) and ran a brutal 1/2 marathon on a trail run out in Danville. I had no idea what I was getting into, I just thought it would be fun to run 14 miles since I knew I was in good shape. But boy oh boy were those hills brutal. Just when I thought they were over, there would come a longer, steeper, tougher hill. I finished that one in 3 hours and 35 minutes and was happy to be done and swore I would never run that race again. Whew!

Meanwhile, I continue to run, eat my chia seeds, drink my green juice and smoothies and read my running books. Next up…Big Sur Marathon in April 2010!

Marathon is this month October 7, 2009

Well here I am… I started training in June and it’s now October. My marathon is 2 weeks away and I am psyched! I can run farther and faster than I ever thought I would. My abs are getting rock hard as are my arms. My legs are getting super strong and I can climb hills like never before! I love my body and I love what running does for it!

Here are some things I have learned in the last 4 1/2 months:

1. Chia seeds are super fuel for this body. I soak 1/2 cup in about 2 cups water overnight and eat a big fat heaping Tablespoon or more before a run. No added flavors or ingredients, just chia, and I don’t feel it in my belly while running but feel super charged and energized.

2. Bee pollen is a great fuel while running. After about an hour of running I need a little fuel. I other than choose the gel shots and power bars as they are full of stuff I don’t want in my body. So I keep a baggie full of bee pollen in my back pocket and just pour myself a mouthful. I can keep going and feel awesome.

3. Loading on proteins and carbs within 30 minutes of finishing an hour or longer run is crucial for recovery. I’m so happy I figured this out through trial and error and reading the running mags. I don’t eat what they recommend though which is usually bagels and cream cheese or something equally “gooey for the gut”. Instead, here is what I make: A green smoothie w Warrior Food protein Powder. Recipe: 1 banana, 1 piece of fruit such as handful of strawberries (w stems), or nectarine or blueberries, etc. 2 heaping Tbs. Warrior Food Hemp protein Powder, 1 scoop of L-glutamine (for ATP synthesis and muscle rebuilding), a huge handful or 2 of kale, spinach, sprouts or parsley, water to blend, and sometimes some extra green powder like Vitamineral Green or Spirulina and some stevia for my sweet tooth. I like the soy lecithin powder for creaminess and brain function too.

4. So I drink that slowly over the course of an hour after running but start drinking it right when I get home or finish running.

5. Big green salads still rock! I like how light I feel when I eat a salad with avocado, tomatoes, sauerkraut, sprouts, seasoned sunflower seeds (see my book for recipes), drizzle some pumpkin seed oil and sometimes throw some cooked beans in for extra fiber, carbs and protein. I never eat more than 3 fats in a salad or it’s sleepy time for me. I usually limit it to 2. Olives and olive oil are the same fat so that’s good. Avocado is its own fat as are seeds (i count seeds as 1 category even if I use more than 1 kind of seed). I also love to top it with soaked sun dried tomatoes and some capers (not raw but oh so yummy!)

6. Dinner I try to be done eating by 6 or 7 at the latest so I can wake up energized and refreshed. No snacking at night if I can help it, because that just adds extra work for my body overnight.

7. I do find that I am much hungrier than before and am happy I get to eat more without gaining weight. In fact I’ve lost about 7 or 8 pounds and have really trimmed down. Nice bonus. One thing I have been enjoying is Clif Builder Bars. They are definitely not raw, but are organic and I feel good when I eat them. I also like Lydia’s raw buckwheat-cacao bars for fuel and protein.

I now know that running will always be a part of my life and I am going to continue to sign up for marathons and 1/2 marathons. The next one is the Big Sur Marathon in April and Avenue of the Giants 1/2 marathon sometime next spring. Before I know it a year will have gone by and I’ll have logged hundreds of miles!!!!

I have run farther than I ever thought I could and now think running 12 miles is an easy cake walk. Incredible!

I’m running in Mt. Shasta this week where it is colder and higher altitudes so we’ll see how that goes.

I’ll be back after the marathon to let you know how fabulously it went!

Getting into the best shape of my life September 5, 2009

Well, back in June I started training for the Women’s Nike marathon which is on October 18th, 2009. I decided to run it for many heartfelt reasons, and one of the reasons was to get into “the best shape of my life” and I do believe that is happening.

Running 12 miles in the redwoods

I feel soooo good. I am running 3-4x a week and cross training on the other days. I now have muscular abs again which I haven’t had in a really long time. In fact all of my muscles have decided to join the party. The reason I am writing this is because I want to inspire you to sign up for some kind of event and train for it. You will be amazed at how motivated you can become when you are running for a cause (for me it’s leukemia) and with other people who are counting on you to be there. I have made some great friends, look and feel better than ever and my mood is much more steady and balanced. I am running 12 miles tomorrow and 18 miles next Saturday. I am not even worried anymore about weather I can do it or not, because with a little bee pollen in my back pocket, I can run anywhere!

Since a lot of you reading this know that I eat a high raw, vegan diet, here are some of the things I have been finding to work quite well:

Chia seeds

Chia are super high in EFAs and have an ability to give endurance to long distance runners.

• Super-Energizing Power…For Greater Endurance and “Go Power”! Due to its unique blend of Protein, Essential Fats, Fiber, Complex Carbohydrates, and Antioxidants, chia is unrivalled among seeds and grains for providing energy to your body.

• Improves Cardiovascular Health…super high levels of heart-healthy EFAs (Essential Fatty Acids)…chia’s oil contains the highest-known percentage of omega-3 alpha-linolenic acid, a whopping 62%–64%!

• Stabilizes Blood Sugar…Reduces blood sugar swings…and supports conditions of hypoglycemia and diabetes.

• Reduces Cravings for Sweets and Junk Foods—high soluble fiber content releases natural, unrefined carbohydrate energy slowly into the bloodstream.

• Improves Mental Focus and Concentration. Chia’s balanced essential fatty acids can signficantly boost your brain power…and brighten your mood.

• High-Quality Protein—Chia contains 20% or more protein…a higher percentage protein than found in other grains, such as wheat, corn, rice, or oats.

• Builds Lean Muscle Mass…Plus it’s useful for weight loss and weight maintenance. Chia is suitable for all lifestyles and dietary regimens, including low-carb diets and vegetarian diets.

• Gluten-Free. Unlike grain-source proteins, chia seed protein contains no gluten. You can eat chia without worrying about gluten if you are sensitive to it…or about developing gluten sensitivity. Chia is an ideal food for individuals with gluten sensitivity, carbohydrate intolerance, hypoglycemia, celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, or anyone who wants to avoid common gluten-containing grains like corn, barley, and wheat.

• An Ideal Food for nearly everyone, including individuals with food allergies, food sensitivities, or food and chemical hypersensitivity. One study found no evidence of allergic response to chia, even in individuals with peanut and tree nut allergies.

• Super-Hydration and Electrolyte Balance. Chia’s soluble fiber (hydrophilic colloids) massively retains water…keeps you well-hydrated and maintains your electrolyte balance.

• Supports Healthy Elimination and Detoxification—healthy oils and fiber contribute to greater regularity and comfort…beneficial effects not to be underestimated!

• Uniquely Balanced. Chia offers an amazingly balanced ratios of macronutrients…better balanced than most grains, seeds, and many other foods.

I soak 1/4 cup chia seeds in 3/4 cups water and either blend them into some almond or sesame milk with 2 Tbs. Warrior Food protein powder (see PureJoyPlanet.com), and some stevia or honey or perhaps a banana. I like to add about 1 Tbs. Spirulina or Vitamineral Green. This is my post run smoothie. I eat a pretty low glycemic (sweets) diet, so instead of a lot of fruit which bloats me and makes me burp, I add the stevia. Lately I’ve been adding aloe vera gel (the inner part of about 1/3 of a big leaf) and blending that in too. It gets frothy and fills out the smoothie nicely.

Bee Pollen-

bee pollen

This is an amazing food. It’s got 18 amino acids and is very high in protein. Here is a little excerpt to give you more info:

Bee Pollen is often referred to as nature’s perfect food because it contains a rich supply of vitamins, minerals, trace elements, enzymes, and amino acids. In addition, it contains flavonoids such as rutin and quercitin.

Bee pollen contains 35% protein, 55% carbohydrates, 2% fatty acids, and 3% minerals and vitamins. Consequently, it has been noted to have a high concentration of vitamins A, C, D, and E, and it is extraordinary rich in the B-complex vitamins. However, bee pollen’s composition may vary depending on plant sources and geographic region.

First, bee pollen consists of antioxidant compounds such as vitamins C and E, beta carotene, and flavonoids, which makes it a free radical fighter. Antioxidants are compounds that help protect the body from cellular damage caused by free radicals.

The body needs antioxidants because with every breath you take (among others) you generate free radicals, which are highly reactive substances that can attack and damage cells, contributing to premature aging and disease if left unchecked.

I take bee pollen by the Tablespoon. Maybe once or twice a week, but not all the time, just when I think about it. I do eat it on my long Saturday runs. About every hour I pour a mouthful and rinse it down with water. I gotta tell ya, I feel awesome when I do it. My energy is high and I finish my run strong and feeling fine!

Greens-

Fresh Mesclun Mix

I love kale, parsley, basil, Romaine, arugula, spring mix, fresh herbs and butter lettuce. I eat a big green salad once or twice a day. Sometimes I’ll eat one for breakfast with mashed avocado and sauerkraut as a dressing. Other times with 1 Tbs. pumpkins seed oil or hemp seed oil or olive oil. I add cucumbers, red bell peppers (green are not ripe), tomatoes and dum ta dum….Freeze dried peas which I buy from www.justtomatoes.com

Sea Vegetables-

I love dulse, nori, sea palm, hijiki, and arame. I add it to salads almost daily (usually just one of the above). Sea Veg are filled with minerals and are so good for us. My inner voice is usually quick to speak up and remind me if I forget to add one of these jewels to my salad, it sound something like (“dulse!” or “Nori”…I just hear the voice in my head and I know what I need to do).

Water-

I realize this is something I do daily anyways, but I feel it is such a big part of the way I feel, it needs to be mentioned. I have a water Ionizer/Alkalizer from Ion Ways called the Athena. It makes the water more alkaline and it also ionizes it which microclusters the water making it more absorbable by the cells therefore more hydrating. We all know that when we are alkaline and hydrated we have more energy, feel good and don’t get sick. In fact, I checked my urine Ph today and it was really alkaline…major blue on the test strip. No wonder I’ve been feeling so good and haven’t gotten sick since Goddess knows when

If you want to check out the system for yourself, go to www.Ionways.com/purejoyplanet

Other things I have found really help me during my training are good running shoes, a great coach (comes with the Team in Training fund raising package), good attitude, a white running hat and good moral support of friends and family.

I’ve been getting up early every morning now to stay on a rhythm, which means my alarm goes off at 5:20 am most mornings. When I’m not running, I get up early (in the dark) and go to a 6 am yoga class. I’m in bed by 10pm and most of the time I stop all eating by 6 or 7 pm. These are all great ways to add to my overall health and well being and I know that my liver and body thank me for being so kind to them, and so will yours!

I’m doing a gallbladder flush over the next 5 days, so look for my blog results soon.

Eating seasonally for optimum health July 12, 2009

Our bodies move in cycles. Not only to the cycles of the moon in each month like the tides, but by the seasons as well.  In the winter we crave and actually need completely different foods than we do in the summer. Nature knows best. Think about what grows year round. In the winter we have the hard winter squashes and winter greens, more root vegetables,  nuts, grains and overall, heavier, heartier and denser foods. In the spring and summer green foods begin shooting above ground. All the light cucumbers, watermelon, zucchini, spring onions and tender lettuces are abundant. Why is this? Because our bodies need those foods at that time. If you were to eat buckwheat, pumpkin and kale all summer, your body would think it was in a winter climate and would use those foods to warm you up. The last thing you want on a 100 degree day right? So in the summer the watermelon and cucumbers for example give us the cooling action we need. They also serve as a diuretic to clean out our kidneys. Summer is a perfect time for cleansing because the body wants to shed it’s winter weight and any toxins it’s built up all year. Listen to you mother! (nature that is), and eat the foods the grow locally (within 50-75 miles) and choose fresh picked, organic foods. These choices will affect you even more than body temperatures. Did you know that if you were to eat say- strawberries year round that you could indeed develop an allergy to them? Why? because the body needs a break from the same foods every day. Why do you think so many people are allergic to wheat, corn, eggs and dairy? Could it be because they eat them everyday, even several times a day and the body gets overloaded creating a leakage in the gut that flows into the blood, then the blood thinks this food is a foreign invader and creates an attack on it. Hmmmm something to think about next time you want to buy blueberries from New Zealand (unless you live there).

There is also the environmental impact of buying foods that don’t grow locally. All the airplanes, trucks, and ships that are burning oil and creating pollution to bring you your pineapple from Hawaii. What about the waste of all the boxes and plastic as well? Every dollar we spend is a vote. Vote for local, fresh and organic. And speaking of local and support, what about our wonderful farmers? Sure you can go to Whole Foods or where ever and buy produce grown by local farms, but if you go to the farmers markets, you are directly putting that money into the farmers pocket with no middle man. These men and women work so hard to bring us food to sustain us (especially raw foodists- right?) so taking a little extra time to go to your weekly farmers market can make a difference in the lives of those who are really feeding us.

So with summer here, now, drink your cooling green juice (see recipe below), watermelon juice, fresh green salads with plenty of juicy tomatoes, red bell peppers (never green!), and cucumbers. Try to avoid heavy nuts, dried fruits, grains and foods that will zap your energy. Instead, hydrate, rejuvenate and follow natures cues!

Cooling Green Juice Recipe

• 1 large cucumber with skin
• 1 bunch of celery (about 12 stalks)
• 1 head of Romaine lettuce
• 1 lemon

Run all the greens and lemon through a Green Star Jucier. Enjoy as a cool refreshing drink before lunch or dinner as a way to alkalize and cool your body and supress your appetite.

raw food as running fuel July 4, 2009

Okay, so I did the run this morning. I ate a good sized salad at Cafe Gratitude last night around 8:30 pm (a little later than desired)  which had kale, kraut, seaweed and  a wee bit of cooked quinoa added. I got up this morning and drank 1 1/2 cups coconut water with 1 banana blended and 1 tablespoon of Sun Warrior Protein.

I felt way better today than last week. We ran about the same amount of miles, 6.5. I felt pretty good on that food fuel until the last mile or so, then began to feel tired. My muscles felt good, everything seemed to be working great. Very little knee pain, no other pain, but just got drained of energy torwards the end. I think the diet still needs a little tweaking as I was burping up banana for a while, but most likely because I only ate it 1 hour before the run and should have done 2 hours.

Drank the L Glutamine when I got back with another 2 Tbs. Sun Warrior Protein, 1 Tbs. vitamineral Green with 1 banana, frozen strawberries and blueberries and water. That’s been holding me over and it’s 2:30pm now so good choice on the food fuel.